


the one with the flip phone

by CapnShellhead



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Civil War Fix-It, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), The Flip Phone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 10:11:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14041974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapnShellhead/pseuds/CapnShellhead
Summary: A rather sleep deprived Tony Stark leaves a lengthy message on Steve's voicemail.





	the one with the flip phone

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [the one with the flip phone|翻盖手机事件](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14344989) by [wasabi_31](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wasabi_31/pseuds/wasabi_31)



> So, I had writer's block and I was midway through a Friends rewatch. Not that I see Steve and Tony as being remotely similar to Ross and Rachel but this idea started as a joke and turned into a fic. 
> 
> I am aware this is 110% not how Infinity War will start, lol. 
> 
> Edit: Ao3 keeps eating my formatting. I think I’ve finally fixed it. *fingers crossed*  
> I hope you like it!

Okay, in Tony’s defense, he was tired.

He’d been up for 36 hours, he hadn’t eaten much and he was pretty sure he’d consumed more caffeine than a human his size was equipped to handle. Mind you, these are not excuses; they’re explanations for what happened next.

One moment, Tony is hard at work on his Bleeding Edge armor and the next, he’s staring at the stupid flip phone. He’s on edge, severely underfed and can barely keep his eyes open, but he finds himself picking up the phone anyway.

“You know what? You’re an asshole for sending this to me. ‘Here, Tony, take this phone after I treated you like shit. I’ll never call you. I’m sipping mai tais on a beach with my old boyfriend. He’s younger and prettier’n you and he’s got long hair, you ancient fuck.’ I’m sure you’re doing _so_ much better without me. I just slowed you guys down, anyway, right? Me with all my control issues and daddy issues and guilt complexes and all manner of undiagnosed isms. You’re probably glad you don’t have to put up with me anymore. And you sent me that goddamn google docs template of an apology. If I _need_ you? What the fuck was that? But, you know what? That’s just fine, Steve. Honest. That’s totally fine, because I don’t need you anymore. I’m over you, you hear me? I am _over_ you. And that, Captain Know It All, is what they call closure.”

And then he hung up the phone, his chest puffed out like he’d _really_ done something. He took a swig of his hours old coffee and went back to work. And then, only once he was lying down in bed a full seven hours later, when he really processed what exactly he had done… he nearly brains himself on the nightstand hurrying from his room.

The motion detecting lights flicker on as he races down the halls, down the stairwell to the basement, his heart pounding. “No, no, no. Oh, no, no, no. You freaking moron,” he mutters to himself. “Remember when you had the bright idea to leave the phone on the table top, why? Oh yeah,” he snorts. “ _In case he called_? Remember that? You should have just locked the phone away like every goddamn, juvenile cosmo mag told you to do but no, _no_ , you thought you could handle it.”

He keys in the wrong code five times before FRIDAY kindly offered the hand scanner and then he races inside. The phone was still sitting there on the tabletop, the little shit. He hurried to it and then... stares at it.

Because what the fuck was he going to do?

It was a flip phone. An honest to god, 2000s Disney Channel era flip phone. He couldn’t hack it or use it to somehow get into Steve’s voicemail. They were burners. Even if they stored voicemails in the servers or some sort of _cloud_ , there was no way he could erase it.

So, there was a stupid, ridiculously revealing, painfully embarrassing voicemail out there blabbing all of his insecurities and Tony couldn’t get it back.

He lets out a strangled sound and falls to his knees, his heart heavy. The floor is cold beneath his bare knees as he sits in the dim room and mutters, “You still have me.” He covers his face and groans, “Goddamn it.”

*****

Steve is an idiot.

He and Sam got caught up taking down Hydra goons in Japan after a tip that Madame Hydra would be there. He’s facing off against a ninja (hand to god) when he reaches for his shield and has a brief moment of panic when he remembers its not there anymore. He’s too slow to move out of the way of a kick and he feels something break apart in his pocket.

They get back to the safe house and Steve shuffled into the bathroom feeling old for the first time in a long time. He pulls off his belt and checks the pockets, a sense of dread washing over him. The phone was broken. Shattered into pieces and of course it was; the one olive branch Steve had to extend and he’d broken it. The way he’d broken everything else between Tony and he.

Before he can scold himself for being the kind of idiot that kept the thing strapped on his side at all times, he makes himself calm down and figure out a solution. He’d have to ask Scott to go buy a new burner and try to figure out how to transfer numbers. If that was even possible.

He goes to bed on edge; worried that something would happen while he slept. Tony would suddenly need him and by the time he heard about it on the news, like everyone else, all the other _civilians_ , it would be too late. How could Steve have been so stupid?

But that thought was offset by a worse one: what if Steve replaced the phone, but the phone remained silent?

What if he’d broken things between them so much so that Tony wouldn’t trust him to help?

Maybe Tony didn’t need him anymore.

 

The next morning a meteor crashes into a mall in Nebraska and Steve hears about it on the news. The reporters aren’t saying alien threat; everyone’s too afraid to say it but Steve knows. The others know, and they gather together to make a plan.

They’d have to contact Tony. Nobody will say that either but they all know it. Sam’s standing in the corner, tense and apprehensive. He was the only one that knew about Siberia because he was the only one that came right out and asked. He didn’t say it out loud but Steve knew he partially blamed himself for sending Tony to meet Steve and Bucky. Wanda was silent, clearly still harboring resentment for her time on the raft. Scott and Clint were still planning things out. They were experts in infiltration. If anyone could sneak into an Avengers facility, it was them.

Even with all the planning and speculating about what they were dealing with, it was clear that the threat Tony had been talking about for the past decade was finally here.

And they were woefully unprepared.

*****

In between Bruce and Thor crash landing on earth with news about the new threat (Thanos? What a name), Tony doesn’t have much time to dwell on the message. Thor leads them to an honest to god wizard (sorry, warlock), Dr. Strange and start coming up with a strategy. It’s clear they’ll have to call in the big guns and there was time for old grudges. So, despite how fresh the wounds of war felt, Tony had to call in the others.

The first time he sees Steve again, his heart skips a beat. He reaches up, palming the Bleeding Edge reactor and it draws Steve’s eyeline. His eyes widen in pain and concern, no doubt running through endless possibilities in his head and as much as a part of Tony wanted to let Steve stew and ruminate over Siberia, it doesn’t feel as vindicating as Tony might have hoped.

He sits across from Steve at the round table and marvels at the hopes he’d once had for this thing. He’d spotted it in a catalog when he was first decorating the tower and the Arthurian nerd in him had to have it. He’d dragged it from the Tower to the facility and back to the tower again. Now it sat in the mansion surrounded by people Tony never thought he’d see it again.

Least of all Steve.

He’s listening to Thor and Gamora (who’s unreasonably gorgeous, he might add) when he wonders why Thor never contacted them about Asgard when it hits him. He remembers rambling on in truly embarrassing fashion, the click of the voicemail recording and slamming the flip phone down on the counter. He remembers wondering if he’d sounded breezy and uncaring and coming to the conclusion that, no, he’d sounded ridiculously jealous and pathetic.

He looks over to where Steve sat beside Bucky with the great hair and wonders how he’s managing to sit there calmly and didn’t come right over to Tony and ask him what the fuck he was talking about that night. Tony’s skin warms, his hands are clammy and he considering offering himself in sacrifice; just walking right up to Thanos and yelling “take me now!”

Anything would be better than this.

Why hadn’t Steve said anything yet? Was he waiting for the right moment? The perfect opening to reveal to everyone that Tony Stark was a pathetic old man with a crush on a living legend that seemed to have no problem leaving him in Siberia.

Maybe Steve hadn’t said anything because he was a consummate professional and he was above embarrassing Tony. They had a mission to deal with and that came first.

So, Tony should be focused on the life or death situation and not “why didn’t Steve call me?”. He sighs and tries to focus on Thor. Gamora takes over and starts speaking about her childhood. The way Nebula and she were used to do Thanos’ bidding, what he’d done to Gamora’s family; the one she’d been born with the sister beside her.

If ever there was a need for avenging, it was now.

Tony couldn’t look around this table without seeing several children of abusive parents. Nebula didn’t ask for sympathy; neither did Gamora. They told things the way they were, just facts and Thanos needed to be taken out as soon as possible.

“Where do we start?” Sam asked.

*****

The thing about Tony was, he couldn’t stand losing. Sure, Steve hated losing, too. All those times he’d been beaten up in alleyways, he’d never shrugged it off and thought “you win some, you lose some.” But, it never bothered him enough to stop trying… it just made him focus on how to win the next one. Then Bucky found him beaten up in yet another alley.

Thor never seemed to lose. Natasha never seemed to lose. Clint lost a few times but, like Steve, he shook it off and got ready for the next fight. But Tony… he took every hit like he was a glutton for punishment. It seemed to physically pain him to consider losing. The second he saw a fight going south, he took it upon himself to take the hard road out and sacrifice himself to end it.

Yes, Steve sees the irony there.

He’d accused Tony of being selfish and unable to make sacrifice plays but, upon coming to know him, it seemed Tony was incapable of doing anything else. Blowing himself up along with Obadiah Stane (and what a fun story that was to hear Ms. Potts tell it), flying the nuke into the wormhole not knowing if he’d ever come back, and the idiotic decision to bring the Mandarin to his home.

Tony didn’t just hate losses; he refused to accept them. If he thought he could end something by falling down on his sword, he would.

Hence Steve’s heart in his throat, his lungs tearing in two like the asthmatic days of old as he raced towards the crumbling building where Tony had just done something stupid.

They’d followed leads to Tulsa, Oklahoma in search of the Time Stone and Steve was already sick of these things. Part of the group thought it’d be best to split up and guard the stones without drawing too much attention to themselves. Part of them wanted to hide them away and guard them but that got shot down immediately because “We’d be doing the work for him,” Tony had said. One crazy idea was to use the stones to fight Thanos, Nebula and Rocket’s plan and Steve had nearly considered it but these were unknown sources. He wouldn’t risk the possibility of civilian casualties.

So, here they were trying to guard this stone, if it was even here and Thanos’ army had come.

Steve was more disgusted at the fact that the man - this thing, hadn’t even bothered to show in person.

Steve sent Tony, Rhodey and Gamora to guard, theorizing that Gamora would have insight into how Thanos operates (he’d been right) and Tony and Rhodey would have an easier time evacuating if need be. He would’ve been right about the second except, Tony refused to let Peter go off with Strange and Quill the way he’d wanted. He didn’t want the kid here at all but since he was a stubborn little thing, just like Steve had been, he was determined to fight.

Steve came along once Bruce, Sam and Bucky were settled in Wakanda. He wouldn’t dare let it show but he was worried. Of course he was; he’d never thought this fight would come.

Tony had known. Tony had always known.

Steve regrets not asking Tony more about what he saw in the wormhole. Hearing about Thanos’ atrocities, the way he’d raised Gamora and Nebula, the things he’d done to several communities throughout the universe. Steve didn’t know what he’d do when he got his hands on the Mad Titan.

But that was a fight for tomorrow. Today, everything had been quiet until they heard there distant rumblings of footsteps all around them. Gamora heard it first, then Steve, as Tony and Rhodey’s sensors picked up bodies. They didn’t have heat signatures, or discernable faces.

They were nameless beings and Rhodey and Tony took out as many as they could before they had to retreat and consider what the game plan was. They were surrounded and these things were strong. It came down to a good old fashioned brawl and Steve had been begging to hit something for a while now.

The fight moves as the heroes retreat and find themselves edging further from the stone but more into the open. Until the kid launches himself above the crowd to lure the monsters closer to the city. Steve doesn’t understand until he catches the farmhouse they’d been inching closer to. Steve can just make out a face peeking out through the window and he curses.

They’d cleared the area three times over but they’d never thought they’d go this far out. They were leagues away from where they started and Steve scans the area but there weren’t any more homes here.

He follows the kid, Tony would kill him if he didn’t, and he watched as Spidey ends up in an abandoned silo, throwing everything he had and webbing them up. Gamora comes in from behind and they do all they can but it’s hopeless. They are too damn many of them.

The kid stops suddenly, his head lowered and Steve can guess that he’s talking to Tony. Steve steals one of the soldier’s spears and throws it at a sandbag, taking down six of them as the bag falls. He launches himself on the higher level and moves in close to Spidey. He takes down a few soldiers that climbed up after Peter with a pointed look.

The kid shrugs and then says, “We gotta move.”

“What’d he say?” Steve asks, breathing heavily. It must’ve been a hell of a fight if even he was starting to get tired.

“Evacuate, the fight’s coming here.” Spidey leaps off with a web to the other end of the building and Steve leaps over several soldiers, clearing a way with his shields. He and Gamora are slower to follow but they end up outside as Rhodey lands beside them. Steve’s heart pounds, scanning the sky for a flash of red and gold and then he hears repulsors. He calms, prepared to work on Plan B except, Tony’s not stopping. He zooms past them in a blaze, the army following him.

Then there’s a blinding flash of light and the silo is coming down around him.

Steve tries to follow after, shaking off Gamora’s grip and hurrying forward into a cloud of smoke but it’s too late. The rubble settles, a heap of wreckage as painful to look at as the knot in Steve’s throat and he stares on in shock.

It’s quiet, too quiet for a battlefield. He should check on the others but he can’t move from the spot.

What if Tony comes back?

He waits, stubbornly focused on the pile of burning wood.

He waits.

And then he hears it: the high pitched whine of machinery, like a wind up car spinning its wheels in the air. Steve leaps forward, using his shields to clear away wood and stone desperately. The others rush over to help, though Steve can feel Gamora’s doubtful gaze on the side of his face. She can’t hear it, neither can Peter apparently but Steve knows what he hears. Rhodey is moving just as urgently, muttering, “Come on, Tones.”

Finally, they make a decent dent in the pile and he sees a crushed faceplate, the rest of the suit obscured by the carnage. Steve’s heart lodges itself in his throat as he reaches out, hesitant to touch.

“Tony? Come on, man,” Rhodey says, tapping the helmet. Finally, it fades away, Tony’s bruised face revealing itself.

“I do not recommend doing that again,” Tony replies and Steve finds he can breathe again. “I mean, not that Oklahoma was a great joy to be in, in the first place but this was a real shitshow.”

Peter laughs, reaching out with Rhodey to help pull Tony out. Tony stands, his armor faring little better than the faceplate. He shakes himself a little and drapes an arm over Peter’s shoulder as he steps out. “You’re gonna have to pay for that, you know?” Peter asks.

Tony huffs out a laugh and it should be pleasant to hear but, now that Steve knows he was okay, he feels that worry turn into anger. It was a stupid, reckless plan and Tony could’ve gotten himself killed. He feels that familiar lecturing tone start up but he cuts himself off.

He wasn’t Captain America anymore.

He wasn’t the leader of the Avengers anymore.

It wasn’t his place to tell Tony what to do or yell at him for endangering himself and not telling Steve the plan.

The realization gives him pause as much as it pains him. He watches as Peter and Tony continue recapping, Peter’s excitable rendition of the fight in the silo making Tony roll his eyes but Steve could see the warmth there. He was moving stiffly and no doubt, he wouldn’t get himself checked out by a medic.

“We’ve gotta move it,” Gamora says, suddenly appearing at his side.

Steve jumps, blinking a few times before he takes in her words. “What?”

“The stone,” she says somberly. “He sent this many men after it and none of them return? We have to move it and fast.”

She was right and this fight was coming to them faster than Steve expected. “I’ll get Thor here, ASAP.” He tries his comm but it fills his ear with a high pitched whine and Steve cringes, yanking it out. It was fried; it would have taken a ridiculous amount of force to break.

Sighing, Steve asks Gamora to call Thor and they head back to the stone.

*****

Steve heads to the lab the second they get back to see about the earpiece. Tony has extras, of course he does, but Steve never felt right about just tossing something out if there was a chance it could be fixed. He heads down to Tony’s lab where he finds Peter and his friend Ned. He greets them kindly and they get to talking.

“So, I’m here because I think I broke it,” Steve says, smiling sheepishly. He runs a hand over his head, shamefaced. “I’ve had a lot of bad luck with technology lately.” At their questioning look, he pulls out the pieces of the broken flip phone.

“We still calling this technology? It’s ancient.” Ned asks and Peter jabs him with an elbow. Ned gives Steve a shy smile as he lays out all the pieces on a workstation table. “It’s pretty wrecked, man.”

Steve huffs out a laugh. “I know.”

Peter asks, “What happened?”

“Got in a nasty scrape with some ninjas,” he explains and watched their eyes grow wide with amazement. Peter still wasn’t fond of Steve and he knew that. He understood that. From where the kid stood, Tony had been nothing but reasonable and Steve was running around dropping tunnels and trucks on people. But he was a bright kid; Steve had to admit.

Ned asks if Steve knew how the phone stored it’s numbers and he doesn’t. Ned fishes through the pieces and pulls something out, a SIM card of sorts and Steve stares at him. He inserts it into a laptop and taps a few keys.

“Well, there’s no data on here. No sign of missed - well, hang on.” He turns the screen to show Steve a line with an envelope next to it. “One voicemail.”

Steve’s heart drops. Tony had called. He was the only other person who had this number. He’d reached out and Steve hadn’t answered. He swallows and tries to keep his face neutral.

“Can you play it?” he asks and Ned nods. Hitting a button proudly and he stands there before Peter drags him off with a look Steve didn’t care to decipher.

The lab door closes behind them.

*****

Tony’s on his way down to his lab when he sees Peter and Ned exiting. “What were you doing?” he asks. The boys jumped but Tony wasn’t seriously concerned. Peter couldn't have gotten in without an access code.

“Steve wanted us to fix his phone,” Peter says and Tony frowns before his stomach twists. Oh no!

“And you just fixed it for him?” he demanded, racing forward as fast as he could on sore legs. He hands his twisted helmet to Ned and hurries to enter in the access code. “Who told you to do that?”

“We just thought… you know respect your elders and all that,” Ned replied meekly, as the lab doors shut in front of them.

 

The lab door slides open and Tony finds Steve sitting in a stool facing away from the doorway. Tony’s heart pounds, as he weaves around the prototypes and You’s support strut. Steve hadn’t moved, his back ramrod straight.

Finally, when Tony was inches away, he turns, his eyes guarded. His voice was soft, “You’re over me? When were you...” his eyes widen adorably as he struggles for words and settles on, “under me?”

Tony’s face reddens but he can’t look away. Steve’s eyes are piercing blue, the darker tone of his longer hair and beard making them harder to look away from. Tony didn’t understand; Steve had always but been gorgeous but now - “Tony?” he asks and Tony was seriously considering fleeing the scene.

Steve gives a wry smile and says, “So, you’re still really upset with me.”

Tony stares at him, “Are you kidding?”

Steve winces, fidgeting for the first time Tony had ever seen. “I - uh, sorry. Bad joke. Inappropriate joke. I, I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry.”

“You said that,” Tony replied dryly and Steve stiffens.

“I’m sorry I’m here and you have to deal with me again.” A pause, “He’s not - we’re not... Bucky and me, we’re not like that.”

He stares at Steve, frozen in place but the first words that come out are, “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

Steve stares at him, “You left me a voicemail.”

“I was out of my mind jacked up on caffeine,” he says dismissively, lowering his head. “I hadn’t slept more than 2 hours in a couple days.”

Steve moved faster than Tony can process and then he’s suddenly _there_ , a few feet away, his voice low in Tony’s ear. “Hey, look at me.” When Tony musters the courage to raise his head, Steve’s face is inches away, his blue eyes bright and focused on him so much that he found it hard to breathe. “Some part of you wanted to say that to me.”

Tony starts to smile but he can’t; not when Steve’s looking at him like that.

“I wish you’d said it sooner,” Steve adds quietly. Then he shakes his head, a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry, I can’t put this all on you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You tried to talk to me. That’s your thing, right? Talking?” Steve asked hesitantly, his brow furrowed. “And I don’t do well at that. I give speeches and give orders but... I never mastered just,” he waves his hand frustratedly. “Saying what needs to be said.”

“Steve, you’re probably the most direct person I know.”

“Not when it comes to the important stuff.” He meets Tony’s eyes again. “Not with you.” He swallows thickly and for one moment, for one instant, Tony is afraid Steve is going to cry. And as angry as he’d been over the past few years, Tony doesn’t want to see that. “I... I got by thinking I knew what was best for you. I look back at it now and that scares me. I - remember when I used to camp out here every night?”

Tony nods, unsure of where this was going. “It wasn’t just to spend time with you. Although, that was a big part of it because I couldn’t just come out and tell you I wanted to spend time with you. But, I also came here because I thought, if I brought you food and encouraged you to go to sleep, you would do it.”

Tony shifts uncomfortably, “It worked.”

“It did,” Steve agrees, his mouth a grim line. “I shoved food at you and made you go to sleep at normal hours and I tried to force you to take care of yourself. I dragged you to medical for every minor scrape and you called me ‘the boss’ and I liked that but... it wasn’t normal, Tony.”

Tony’s stomach twisted, “Because I was such a burden, right? Nobody else needed that but I was so pathetic that I needed Captain Oversight.”

Steve stares at him in confusion before he hurried to explain. “No, Tony, no, that’s not what I mean. The thing is - the thing is,” he scratches at his beard and gathers his words. Tony’s eyes fall to the motion, the sight sending a strange warmth through his body. “The others needed it, too. They all needed it. Natasha needed more sleep than she was getting. Clint needed sleep and food and to do something that wasn’t staying in the range for twelve hours everyday. Thor needed to deal with his issues with his brother. He didn’t need to be fed or to sleep but he needed to forgive himself about Loki and Puente Antiguo. And Bruce... well, I never got that close to him but I’m sure he needed a lot of help, too.”

Tony nods with a soft laugh, “Tell me about it.”

“I can’t,” Steve said quietly. “That’s the thing. I knew in the back of my mind that they needed all these things and maybe to you, you thought I left them alone because they didn’t need help but... that’s not true. I was an awful leader.”

“Steve,” Tony began but Steve cut him off.

“I’m not fishing for compliments or even looking for sympathy. That’s not what I want,” he replies. “I... I need you to understand why I did this. Why I didn’t tell you about your parents.”

“Yeah, I get it. You wanted to protect your old pal and you thought I would go nuclear if you told me. You were right. You were always right,” he replies, his voice rough.

“Is that what you think?” Steve whispered, his eyes pained. They hurt to look at but Tony found himself frozen in place.

“You said you thought you were sparing yourself. What else am I supposed to get from that?”

“Tony, I didn’t ... of course you thought that,” Steve murmured. He studies Tony carefully for a moment before lowering his head and he continuing, “In my head - in my messed up brain, I took it upon myself to - to _know_ what was best for you. And that’s not my place. Even if you think I was right., even if you needed my help, it wasn’t my place. I didn’t do it for anybody else. Not like I did with you. And I thought... when I found out about your parents, my first thought was ‘I can’t tell Tony, it’ll destroy him’. I didn’t know if I would ever get Bucky back. For two years, I didn’t know if I’d ever see him again; the guy I used to know, anyway. Please understand, it wasn’t all just to protect him.”

“Then what?” Tony asked quietly, doubtfully. Steve’s eyes were so open, his words so somber that the space between them lessened moment by moment. Every breath filled Tony’s nose with the scent of Steve’s soap, he could make out every freckle, every line of his lashes. It was as close as they’d been since - since Steve had left Tony behind wordlessly.

“I thought I was protecting you. I know now it was partially out of selfish reasons. None of that matters because I shouldn’t have taken it upon myself to make decisions for you.” He broke off, his breath hitching. “I had to really ask myself why I did that and I... in some ways I’d started to think of you as mine.”

He sucks in a breath, voice low. “And I wanted to keep you.” He met Tony’s gaze again, his eyes wet. “I thought if I put the work in, if - if I did everything I could then… and I didn’t realize it at the time. I’ve never - with anyone I never ... I never got to keep them but with you.... you were always there and you were so - so,” he struggles for words and Tony fills them in.

“Needy? Desperate? Alone?” Steve shakes his head but Tony keeps going, hearing Howard’s voice in his ear. “Pathetic? Annoying?”

Steve reached out to touch his shoulders, facing Tony head on. His eyes were bright and furious. “ _Kind_ and funny and charming. And attractive and supportive and encouraging. You were never desperate. You never left the others alone. You were not pathetic. You were mildly annoying when I was trying to wallow in self pity and you wouldn’t allow that. You were never needy and you never needed me. It was my mistake to think that you did.”

It was quiet, save for the pounding of Tony’s heart as he stared at Steve in disbelief. “Steve,” he licked his lips, drawing Steve’s eyes away from his own for one brief moment. When their eyes met, Steve’s breath caught. “What are you saying?”

“I should have told you about your parents. All the other things aside... Ultron, Bucky, the Accords, Ross... I should have told you. I tried to give you something you never even asked for and I did something unthinkable in the process. I’m sorry. I don’t care how many times I have to say it for you to believe me. I’ll camp out here if I have to. I’ll tell you ‘I’m sorry’ every day. I’ll do it because all of this, everything I’ve said, they’re not excuses for what I did.”

Tony felt his eyes spill over and he swipes at them frustratedly, replying, “And Siberia? You sorry about that?”

Steve’s face was grave but he faced Tony head on. “Every day,” he replies. “I sometimes wonder, if I’d told you, if all of that could’ve been avoided.”

Tony grimaces, stepping away for comfort. “We’ll never know, huh?” He holds himself painfully tight, his lab colder than before.

“He wants to meet you,” Steve says suddenly. “Bucky, I mean. He wanted to apologize.”

Tony’s chest aches and he takes a deep breath. “Not his fault.”

“Tony-“

“It’s not his fault,” Tony says. “I knew that before and I know it now. Somehow, in between finding out about the doctor and seeing the prison and watching that video... none of it mattered.”

“He understands,” Steve said, coming closer. He wasn’t sure if his comfort was desired but he couldn’t stay away. Not after so much time had passed. Tony allows it; or at least he doesn’t move away.

“I don’t,” Tony murmurs. “I inherited my father’s sins. Then I committed some of my own but I know what it is to be the face of someone else’s crimes.”

“You were upset and mad at me-“

“I wanted to hurt him. I know that. I wanted to slam him down and make him watch it. Make him look at her and - and _hear_ ,” he broke off, stifling a pained sound in his fist. Steve didn’t care if he took a punch for it, he pulled Tony into his arms. He was still at first, freezing at Steve’s touch initially before he melted. Reaching up to hold Steve tight to him, he sighed as Steve stroked his back. “I wanted to tell him that I knew. I knew it wasn’t his fault.”

“He knows,” Steve says.

“But I wanted to tell him,” he repeats and something inside of Steve settles. He strokes Tony’s back, takes his weight and let’s Tony lean on him. They’d done this a few times before everything with Ultron. Not often because Tony was a little weird about touching but they’d done it once or twice. It was easier when the lights were out and Tony felt like no one else would have to know.

Today, the lights were on full brightness, the doors to the lab transparent as always. And Steve had Tony in his arms, murmuring assurances in the genius’ ear.

“You can tell him that,” Steve says, pulling back. Tony stares at him doubtfully and Steve feels that familiar urge to press their lips together. But he knows that wouldn’t be welcome.

He steps back a little and says, “He’s not prettier than you. He’d probably pitch a fit if you told him that.” Tony stares in confusion before he laughs, covering his face in embarrassment. “He’s technically not younger than you.”

“Can we forget you ever heard that?” he asks, his words muffled. Steve pets his arms, grinning widely.

“No can do. It was quite enlightening.” A pause, “When all this is over, I’d like to talk about this.”

“All we’ve done is talk. You,” he wags a finger at Steve. “You’re very good at the talking.”

Steve shakes his head, his eyes warm. “I’m not.”

“You are,” Tony insists.

“I’m really not.” He takes a deep breath and faces Tony head on, determined. “I’m not over you. I disagree with you on a lot. Not just the Accords but little things like the way you pour milk before the cereal and you drink the last of the coffee but you don’t make a new pot. Little things that drive me crazy and big things.” He rubs Tony’s arms, warming him up. “Like that stupid plan you had out there today. Sometimes, I want to scream at you but... I never wanted to lose you.”

“You didn’t,” Tony says quietly. “You left. You took the team and left me.”

Steve nods, “You’re right.” He looks up, his eyes soft. “So, can we? Talk? When all this is over?” Thanos was coming. He wouldn’t stop simply because they’d kept his army back from one of the stones. There was an immeasurable threat looming over them and Steve didn’t know how to fight it.

Tony studies him consideringly before he asks, “Assuming we don’t die?”

Even fearful, Steve’s voice is strong, “We won’t.”

“Captain Optimist,” Tony mutters in response.

“Iron Pessimist,” Steve replies with a raised brow.

Tony smiles, biting his lip to temper it. “Okay,” Tony agrees. “We can talk.”

Steve grins, relieved and starts towards the door. “Thanks, Tony.”

He gets a few steps from the doorway when a hand gripped his wrist and yanked him backwards. His back slams none too gently into the wall as Tony reaches up to cup his face. His eyes are dark and more focused than Steve had ever seen them. “I’m not taking any chances,” he murmurs, pulling Steve into a kiss.


End file.
